Easy Steps to Get Children Listen to Parents
It seems there is no day without asking children to listen to us as parents. For example, asking children to wear the clothes we have chosen, asking children to spend our dinner menu choices, asking children to learn, and many other commands that we aim at children.
The question then is does the child hear all our requests and carry them out? Sometimes "yes", but often children "don't" hear what we say. This condition is not because there is a problem with the child's hearing, but rather the desire of children who refuse to listen.
Why Don't Children Want to Listen?
Both early childhood and children who are already teenagers, both have a strong need for "power" (strength). When children have the opportunity to exert their strength positively, then the condition of "not listening" can be reduced. For example, let the child choose the clothes to wear at a family event, or let the child choose today's dinner menu.
However, what happens if the power (power), they are not channeled positively? So, children will negatively exert all their strength. All this because children have control over their own body and language. The most frustrating power struggles for children are when they use their body and language to oppose a parent's request.
So by choosing NOT to listen, children can affirm their strength. This is how children express their needs in making decisions in their lives.
Easy Steps to Make Children Listen to Parents
1. Position the Body Parallel to Children
So that our demands as parents are heard by the child, it is important to position the body parallel to the child (make ‘eye contact’). That is, we may have to leave work for a while to talk to children. Positioning the body parallel to the child makes it easy for children to hear and understand our requests to them. This is the first easy step that can be taken so that children want to listen to their parents.
2. Reduce the word "Don't"
"Don't hold your sister!"
"Don't disturb your sister's sleep!"
"Don't play with food!"
"No, no, no!"
It feels like countless NO words or DON'T we say to children. Although the word NO can still be addressed to children, it does not mean we often use it.
So that children want to hear our requests, then reduce saying no or not to children. Use other words to avoid word no. For example, when children run in the corridor of the house and we want to forbid it, then use the phrase "if you want to run" allowed ", but let's just go to the yard!"
3. Say "YES" more often
Instead of saying "No, we can't go out of town right now because there is still a PSBB", then use the phrase "going out of town feels a good idea, what if we go out as a family after the PSBB ends?"
4. Simplify Language
Another easy step to make children want to listen is to simplify the language or our requests to children. For example, instead of saying "let's eat vegetables so it doesn't hurt like yesterday again. Kan, I told you to be diligent in eating vegetables ", use the phrase" let's eat vegetables to stay healthy ".
5. Thanking Children
Make sure we are grateful for every request the child hears. For example, when a child wants to throw trash in his place, say "thank you for throwing trash in the trash". By thanking and giving appreciation to the child when he has listened to us, then on another occasion, the child does not feel reluctant to listen to our requests. This is another easy step that can be used so that children listen to parents.
6. Ask Children to Repeat Requests
An easy step to find out if a child understands and listens to a parent's request is to ask the child to repeat our request. For example, when we ask children to hang towels after bathing, also ask children to repeat our request.
7. Make Children Have Initiatives by Asking Questions
Making children continue to listen to parents' requests is never easy. To overcome this, make periodic observations and avoid requests that tend to be negative by using the word no/no.
Encouraging children to have initiative, is a good step so that children want to listen to us. For example, when we see a wet towel lying on the bed, ask the child "what are you going to do with this wet towel?"
Both children and adults have something in common to want to be heard and seen. So we need to encourage children to express their strengths more positively. It is better to listen to what the child wants so that our requests are also heard by the child.
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